Mate
by DoctorDarkAngel
Summary: "It had to be done, Derek, and I know that, I knew that. For once," Jackson said, "I'm not mad."


Mate

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Derek/Jackson

Rating: PG13

Word Count: 1445

Spoilers: All of Season Two

Warnings: OOCness on Jackson's part mostly but also Derek's as well, Angst and Language

Summary: _"It had to be done, Derek, and I know that, I knew that. For once," Jackson said, "I'm not mad."_

A/N: B/c I saw a tweet last night asking for some "jerek fluff" and well, I aim to please. Hope you enjoy kelshoechlin_/derekwhittemore and I swear, this was supposed to be fluffy but you know how your boys are, always being difficult! ;)

**1/1**

"It had to be done, Derek, and I know that, I knew that. For once," Jackson said, "I'm not mad." Sighing the newly turned wolf snuggled closer to his Alpha.

"We killed you. We were going to kill you." Derek said, his voice low, his hold on Jackson tight.

"I know that. And I knew it then, in that moment but I was okay. I had less than a minute to understand what my fate was and I accepted it." Jackson sighed. It was true, of course, that in those last few seconds before Derek and Peter's claws pierced his skin that he knew he had to die. It was fate.

"But you-"

"Derek, stop." Jackson said, shifting so that he was looking up at the Alpha. "I can't honestly say that I knew was I was doing before, when I was, when I was killing those people. But it was like someone flipped a switch or something and I saw it all. I saw everything literally flash before my eyes in those seconds after Lydia and before you. I saw every person I killed. I saw myself hurting everyone I cared about. I hurt you, and Stilinski and-and I hurt someone's mom. I'm not that kind of person, Derek. I might be a jackass at the best of times but I don't-I wouldn't hurt someone's mom." Jackson whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

"So you decided it was okay to die then?" Derek asked, his eyes trained on the charred wall in front of them.

"In that moment, I wanted it to happen." Jackson admitted.

"What?" Derek managed to ask, the shock in his voice surprising himself.

"I'm a monster, Derek. A murderer. I deserved to die for all the things I did."

"You weren't in control of yourself." Derek snapped.

"And if you hadn't stopped me like you did, Gerard would have continued to use his control over me to make me kill every single one of you." Almost without knowing, Jackson tightened his arms around the Alpha's waist and buried his face in his chest. "I didn't want to live with knowing I'd killed all of you."

"But you'd taken control back. I saw you, we all did. When Lydia-"

"She wasn't enough, Derek. I love her, I know I do but its not the kind of love she needs, or wants. She's not who I'm meant to be with." His voice was a whisper but Jackson knew Derek heard every word of what he was saying.

"Jackson, I-"

"And I know I might be knew to this whole werewolf thing but that doesn't mean I'm new to what's actually happening. Stilinski isn't the only one who knows how to research. I had a lot of time, in between killing everyone, to read up and study on werewolves. Most of it was all shit, I'm assuming but I knew then and I definitely know now that, its not Lydia I'm meant for."

"Jackson." Derek said through gritted teeth.

"I don't expect anything from you. This, just this, its enough for me. Its better than I could have hoped for."

"You don't understand what you're saying, or feeling for that matter." Derek said easily.

"And you're an even bigger idiot than I thought if you think I don't know what this is." Jackson snapped.

Jackson felt more than heard Derek's growl.

"You don't want this." Derek finally said, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

Jackson scoffed.

"You don't, Jackson. Its just, its the pull you feel from an Alpha to part of his pack. You want this closeness, this feeling of being safe and secure. Its not, you don't." Derek sighed, hating himself for tripping over his words.

"So you've known all along then?" Jackson asked and being met with nothing but silence from Derek he continued. "You felt it to, I'm assuming. You bit me and you what, knew in that instant that we were-"

"Stop it." Derek growled again. "You have no idea what you're talking about!"

"I know exactly what I'm talking about!" Jackson yelled as he pulled out of Derek's arms and sat up. The ache to be back in Derek's arms was immediate. "Its there, this pull, this need to be near you. I've felt it since the night you bit me and I, okay fine, I didn't know what it meant then but I do now! And I want it, this, I want this."

"You're stupid if you think this is something you want." Derek snapped, arms crossing over his chest.

This time it was Jackson who growled, his eyes flashing a brilliant shade of blue.

"Fuck you, Derek. No really. Fuck you." Jumping up from the bed he'd been laying on with the older man, Jackson quickly reached for his shoes.

"Jackson, I-"

"No, no. I'm not doing this, Derek. I'm not." Jackson said in a hurry. "My life has literally been nothing but hell for weeks and I, I can't do this. So okay. I read about this part. When one or both parties rejects the bond? Fine. This is you rejecting it and I'm just, I'm leaving now because I really don't want to be around you anymore."

A firm grip on Jackson's arm stopped him from leaving.

"Do not assume things about me, Jackson. That's the first thing you need to learn."

"Let me go, Derek. I want to leave."

"That little blip in your heartbeat tells me otherwise." Derek smirked and Jackson sighed.

"Please just let me go." Jackson asked, refusing the beg. This new side of him was, for one, new and even asking nicely wasn't something Jackson was used to.

"I'm not rejecting you, Jackson." Derek's voice was low and almost soft. "I just want you to know what it is you're getting yourself into."

At that, Jackson laughed. Because it was honestly hilarious.

"I knew what I was asking for the moment I decided I wanted the bite. I knew it was going to majorly fuck up my life. I knew it and I was totally fine with it. And maybe yes, this isn't something I was expecting but its also not something I'm willing to let go that easily." Turing around so that he was facing Derek now, he continued. "So unless you seriously want me to leave, if you want me to walk away from this-this bond, then I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to go anywhere. For once, I finally feel safe."

Gathering Jackson into his arms, Derek hugged his mate.

Mate.

If Derek was being completely honest with himself, having a mate wasn't something he'd ever expected to happen. Not after the fuck up that was Kate, no. Derek had resigned himself to being alone, in that sense of the word. He had his pack, what was left of them but now. But now Derek had the one thing he'd honestly always wanted. Derek had his mate.

"Come back to bed with me?" Derek asked, already tugging Jackson along with him.

For once, Jackson smiled. Not the fake bullshit he threw around to make everyone else happy but a real, honest to god, smile. It felt good.

"We're not finished talking about this, though." Jackson said as he practically curled himself around Derek.

"Not by a long shot." Derek murmured, his grip on Jackson tightening.

"After we sleep then?" Jackson asked. "We'll talk about this some more? Because there are still some things I'm confused about."

"After you-"

"We."

"-we get some rest, yes, we'll talk about this some more." Derek said, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Rest, Jackson." Placing a kiss on Jackson's forehead, Derek settled himself down enough to sleep as well.

In his sleep, Jackson smiled.

**End.**


End file.
